I was talking to one of my friends the other day about the wonderful world of dating and she gave me so much inspiration through our conversation. She had been an "older" single and hadn't gotten married until she was in her mid 40's. At the end of our conversation I thanked her and told her that no one else is able to inspire me the way she does. She said that maybe this was the reason she had to be single for so long? So that she could have the tools to help others in the same position she was in.
There is an idea in Judaism that every soul is equipped with exactly the tools they need to accomplish their goals in this world. I heard a story told that before each soul comes down they ask G-d for challenges (tools) in order to help them accomplish their unique goals during their time on earth. "If you give me this I'll be able to achieve that," or "If I go through that experience it will help me do this."
We may complain and ask ourselves questions like, "Why did I have to go through this experience?" or "Why did I get stuck with these relationships?" but each situation we are in and each interaction we have is a custom tailored "tool" to help us achieve our goals in this world. As much as my friend loathed her single years though her resilience and with her unique brand of humor she is able to use the "tool" of her painful experience for the greater goal of helping all the rest of us continue to keep our smiles as we muddle through the same situation ourselves.
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