We have officially hit that time of year, the prelude to Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year. Without fail the minute I'm 30 days out I start to get my game plan together so I can hit the ground running full momentum, game on. There's an idea in Judaism that before our spiritual review on Rosh Hashana it's a good idea to do a "cheshbon ha nefesh" a literal accounting of the soul or annual report on your life over the course of the last year.
This year I have to admit I was less than excited in the time leading up to the 30 days and frankly lagging a bit behind with my soul searching. I know where I came from last year, I know what I accomplished this past year but what's my projection for the coming year? Things didn't exactly turn out the way I had hoped they would and in fact there were many things that occurred that left me scratching my head in confusion. "How does this fit into my bigger picture?" I wondered.
One of my favorite authors, Rabbi Pincus, presents an idea that your life could be compared to a construction zone. Before construction begins the plan is drawn up and you're able to see the end embedded in the beginning. The result is seen reflected in the inception of the plans and you're able to visualize the outcome. Once you commence construction things can sometimes happen unexpectedly: unforseen delays, you end up spending more money than you thought you would, mistakes, messes, etc. In fact people walking by your construction site might even take in the mess and wonder, "What the heck are they building here? It's indiscernible that it could be any kind of structure at all."
Each challenge that we face during our construction process adds an important element to the completed structure of our lives. That challenge during childhood? It poured the concrete and laid your foundation. The years of work it took working on your anger issues; that built the framework of your building. The struggle to find work after 3 years of being laid off...reinforced storm doors that can weather anything.
The same goes for us in our lives. You draw up your personal game plan decked out with your goals and personal intentions and set to work but not always do our plans sync up with the reality of G-d's master plan. The important thing is to remember that the effort and intention is what counts and each thing that seems like a delay or inconvenience is really helping add to the beauty of the finished structure. It's true we may not be clued in to the grand plan of how everything will ultimately turn out but who knows? What looks like a hole in the ground now with skeletal beams and random piping might some day soon come to rival the Chrysler Building.
I was talking to one of my friends the other day about the wonderful world of dating and she gave me so much inspiration through our conversation. She had been an "older" single and hadn't gotten married until she was in her mid 40's. At the end of our conversation I thanked her and told her that no one else is able to inspire me the way she does. She said that maybe this was the reason she had to be single for so long? So that she could have the tools to help others in the same position she was in.
There is an idea in Judaism that every soul is equipped with exactly the tools they need to accomplish their goals in this world. I heard a story told that before each soul comes down they ask G-d for challenges (tools) in order to help them accomplish their unique goals during their time on earth. "If you give me this I'll be able to achieve that," or "If I go through that experience it will help me do this."
We may complain and ask ourselves questions like, "Why did I have to go through this experience?" or "Why did I get stuck with these relationships?" but each situation we are in and each interaction we have is a custom tailored "tool" to help us achieve our goals in this world. As much as my friend loathed her single years though her resilience and with her unique brand of humor she is able to use the "tool" of her painful experience for the greater goal of helping all the rest of us continue to keep our smiles as we muddle through the same situation ourselves.
I had a series of challenges recently one after the other they came fast and furious. I vented my frustration to a friend who reassured me this meant that something amazing was coming around the corner. I thought maybe she had misheard me so I paused and asked her, "Did you not hear what I was just telling you? One after the other...boom, boom, boom." She reassured me again that this meant that something amazing was in store for me right around the corner.
There is a concept in Judaism of "Yeridah t'zorech aliyah" which literally means descent for the purposes of ascent. If you think about it anytime in life where you need propulsion there is a period of exertion or descent before hand: jumping down on a diving board to go up, taking a running head start in order to get momentum for a big jump or even the pulling back of a slingshot in order to launch something a great distance.
It's only through being pushed to your limits that you are able to move forward to a greater place in life. You may think that each challenge is setting you back further and further but really each challenge is an opportunity which will ultimately propel you farther in the bigger picture.
Now when hit with a challenge I try to remind myself that I'm not moving backwards, I'm being set up for a major fast forward. It doesn't minimize the struggle of the challenge when I'm in it but it definitely helps give me the strength to push through with thoughts in my head of my impending launch.
